Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
