i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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