i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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