She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
