I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
