Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
