Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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