i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
