So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
