FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
