Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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