i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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