his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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