Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize