dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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