I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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