I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
