the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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