Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
