im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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