i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
