I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
