Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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