You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
