I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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