don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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