i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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