i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
