An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
