I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
