I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
