I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
