How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
