I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
