If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
