i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
