Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
