Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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