Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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