I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
