my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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