Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
