i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
