I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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