Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
