Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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