Cold hands, warm shart.
youre lurking in front of me
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
