I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
