apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
