areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
