Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
