she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
MIDGETS
????
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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