Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You can't just leave with hair like that
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
