I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
