cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
