"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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